माझी शोभा आत्या

 

आज शोभा आत्या गेली. आज jan १४, २०२६.

A huge part of my life that made my life worth living, is suddenly gone. And with her all the colors are gone and the flowers seem to have withered.

By just being herself and being around me when I was growing up, she made me realize that relationships can be good, and warm and rewarding. I was drawn to her for her affection and warmth, that was so rare in my life. With her and vijukaka I always knew there is a place where I would be accepted for who I am, not for what I achieve or how proud I make them.

A study from Harvard that came out recently says that above everything - above achievement, success, wealth and astonishingly even physical health - longevity and happiness in humans is decided by the quality of their relationships. Close, affectionate relationships where we feel accepted are precious. It is little wonder then why she has had such an outsize impact on my life. 

It pains me deeply to think that she may not have enjoyed this closeness as much as she deserved. Especially the last year of her life was deeply emotionally painful to her and she went through immense mental turmoil owing to things that I won’t mention here. Did the stress and abandonment she experienced in this past year lay the seeds of the health complications that led to her death? The doctor said the ulcer was a few months old.

Her love for the truth and authenticity, her candor, her childlike wonder about the world around her, her being passionate about cooking a dish and pouring her love into it, her tending to her thriving garden, just doing anything for the sake of that thing, and not for anything else - not to make an impression or gain importance, not to make money, not to win someone’s favor or one-up someone - but doing it simply for the pure, unadulterated love of that thing. That will stay with me forever and I like to believe I have it too. 

In my Airbnb interview, I was asked who my role model was and my answer was Shobha atya. It is these qualities of hers that inspire me and will continue to inspire me.

Not having vested interests in anything she said or did, speaking her mind (even if it got her into trouble), her self-awareness (before it became a cool term) and her ability to be vulnerable, humble and authentic always came as a breath of fresh air and it was enlightening for “little me” to know that one can be this way. Although growing up I wouldn’t have been able to identify these qualities or put them into words, but I was fascinated by this energetic person who opened my world up to beauty of all sorts. 

I have a vivid memory.. I was probably maybe 8 or 9 years old. Shobha atya and I were in the small balcony of their apartment, watering the plants. I remember the water glistening in the sunlight and the smell of the earth and the bright green foliage and I remember thinking, is there anything more beautiful than this?

We are drawn to the people we are drawn to for very good reasons, that our body knows and our heart knows but we may not be able to put our finger on those reasons.

माझ्या आयुष्यातली एक सगळ्यात महत्वाची व्यक्ती गेली. खूप unexpected होतं. सहा दिवसांपूर्वी मी तिच्याशी एक तास phone वर बोलले. आम्ही त्यांच्या US trip बद्दल बोलत होतो… खाण्यापिण्याचं कसं करायचं, त्यांना २०११ च्या trip मध्ये खूप काम पडलं होत. ते कस avoid करूया. मग तिला कुठे जायचंय आणखी अमेरिकेत. ती म्हणाली yellowstone किंवा alaska. त्या call नंतरचे काही दिवस जेव्हा ती त्या भयानक गोळ्या घेत होती ज्याने हा दिवस आला आहे, तेव्हा सिद्धार्थ आणि मी “yellowstone का alaska” हे ठरवत होतो. आमचं finally alaska ठरल होतं.